Dating unbelievers

The first reason why believers cannot marry unbelievers is that the Bible forbids it. There are two primary New Testament texts that speak to the issue of marriage between a believer and an unbeliever.

Letter to a Friend Engaged to a Nonbeliever | Desiring God

The principle in this text is that where legitimate marriage can occur—the believer has never married, or they are released from their previous marriage by the death of a spouse—it can only occur between two believers. Like coupling two animals who are incompatible in strength, size, weight, and plowing skill, there will be constant friction, frustration, and futility for two people who enter into marriage with foundational spiritual differences.

But Paul is also interested in underscoring the folly of this kind of partnership. With a blistering volley of rhetorical questions, the apostle undermines any hope that genuine intimacy—the kind of intimacy that married couples are intended to share—can exist between a believer and unbeliever. Paul asks,. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols?


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The answer to each question is obvious. There can be, by definition, no partnership, fellowship, or portion between righteousness and lawlessness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial, a believer and unbeliever. Of course, Paul does not mean that believers are to have no relationship whatsoever with unbelievers. For the sake of the gospel and out of love for our neighbor we must have relationships with those who do not know Christ see especially 1 Cor. For a Christian to enter into marriage with an unbeliever, therefore, is not only an act of disobedience against their Lord, but it is also foolish.

When a person becomes a Christian, they actually become a new person, and an ontological, irreversible change occurs at the deepest level of who they are 2 Cor. You are in the Spirit; they are in the flesh Rom. You are a slave to righteousness; they are a slave to sin Rom. You are led by the Spirit; they are led by the god of this world Rom. You are alive in Christ; they are dead in sin Eph.

None of these spiritual realities can be a cause for boasting see Luke , for you did not achieve these things by your will power or intelligence. You are a Christian by sheer grace 1 Cor. Nevertheless, the fact remains that you are, at a basic level, different from each other and therefore unable to share true intimacy in marriage.

Does It Really Matter If I Date an Unbeliever?

Furthermore, there are countless testimonies of men and women who have married unbelievers who, after years of struggle, say that it was an unwise decision. Why, then, would you ponder the possibility of dating an unbeliever? The question we often fail to ask is, unique to what? Unique in the sense that things will turn out different? I just wanted to obey God, so I married a pastor. Then he dumped me and I was like: you can't trust those christians.

My parents have a much better marriage. So I remarried an atheist. It was a disaster from day one, I fell from my faith and I think it was sin to remarry, since my ex only chatted. Wanted to do the same thing with a guy who did believe but was on pot. Wanted to marry him. Didn't listen to my mother. Then I asked a guy on a forum.

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He was wise. He didn't say don't do it, but that I should take it really slow. Broke it off the same week. My mother just prayed. I think she is disappointed with those supposedly holy christians now. Just warn her to be just friends and take it very slow and not get into temptation by hanging out together in an apartment. I know succesful couples where he converted but they all had very strict boundaries and made it clear that marriage was no option if he didn't convert.

The guy I married did say the sinner's prayer, but wasn't saved. He also started drugs again as soon as we married, but I gave in. If this guy is decent and respects her boundaries and keeps his hands with him it could go well. Just pray a lot. Christian Forums and Message Board.

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Christian forums connect Christians from around the world. Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email? Any advice would be appreciated. I am married 25 years, so I am so far removed from the dating scene. My daughter is 19 and in her first year of college.

She is a strong Christian. Tonight however, she introduced me to a young man she would like to date. He is not a believer. Here's where I have problems. I was a Christian, he was not.


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It took 4 years, but he got saved. We were engaged 1 week later and married 11 months later. I am trying to explain to her how that is not the norm, and dating an unbeliever is a recipe for disaster. But, you know, mom Why listen to me? Amy advice on how to explain this is a bad idea. He's a sweet guy Just needs to find the Lord. Any suggestions? Not all nonbelievers will try to take your virginity away.

I am a virgin and girl i gotta say you seem like you ride your horse a little tooo high. YOu need to calm down there. You are no better than the unbeliever. God will look at you no different if you keep feeling as if you are better than them.

When Your Relationship Becomes Your Idol

If a man respects you it doesnt matter whether he believes or not. No wonder there are more divorces and less marriages, cohabiting couples, singles parents and so on. This nation and the world will have more single people who will all die alone.


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  7. This is a really random thing to do, but I am a non-christian girl in a relationship with a christian boy that is starting to struggle with my lack of faith. I came to this place looking for some insight, and am a little upset with the lack of tolerance for, and the way non-christian people are referred too. I dont want to corrupt anyone, I dont want to interfere with anyones commitment to God, im just in love.

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    We are in love. I dont feel mature enough to commit to a belief system at this point in my life. But i dont want to lose him, he has inspired me to change, to look at my life differently, to be better. Im struggling for an answer.